Alas, I have returned. Melbourne is lovely tonight, cold and crisp and moonlit, but I am moping. I am struggling with having to wear close-toed shoes, sensible shirts and most of all, pants. Down with pants!
That said, my current job is keeping me on my toes. I am the "relieving" intern, meaning I cover shifts that other people can't do (eg: if they call in sick). When there is no shift to cover, I get to help the anaesthetists in theatre. Monday morning, I was supposed to start at 11:30am in anaesthetics. However, as it was my first day back, I thought I'd check in with the hospital to make sure. At 8am, I rolled over in bed and rang the co-ordinator.
"Hi, this is Sam, I'm relieving today at..."
"O, great! Are you in the hospital now? Cos we need you to cover gen med."
"...um...no...I'm not at the hospital..."
"How soon can you be here?"
Which is how I ended up eating cold pizza on the tram at 8:09, un-showered and still wearing my pajama top under my sensible blouse. Worked from 8:23 (boo-ya!) till 6:20 that night and then went home to crash. Day one of relieving...
Day two has been more civilized. Anaesthetists like to talk and I'm a good listener, so I was regaled with footy tips, tales of bad doctors past and helpful hints on how to get a tube into someone's windpipe.
Awesome, right? Plus, wearing scrubs is the closest you can get to not wearing pants in a professional arena. I just need everyone to stay healthy this week. Vitamin C all around!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
heal thyself?
Blerg. Last day in Thailand. I am supposed to be reclining under the firm yet tender hands of a Thai masseuse, having my pending-work-anxiety beaten out of me. Instead, my stomach rolls with every change in posture. I am pale, sweating, pained...AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!
This is possibly the most annoying day of my life. If I could say confidently, "Oh, it's a traveller's sickness", I would be ok with that. Food poisoning. Malarial infestation. Hell, I'd even take syphilis as long as I presented with a clear and obvious pattern of symptoms. But this? Malaise? Non-specific nausea? No other real symptoms? How does one treat such vagueness?
Prescription: water, french fries (o! western food!) and lying under a ceiling fan while watching made for TV movies from 1998.
Blerg indeed.
PS: Ok, I REALLY don't mean it about the syphilis.
This is possibly the most annoying day of my life. If I could say confidently, "Oh, it's a traveller's sickness", I would be ok with that. Food poisoning. Malarial infestation. Hell, I'd even take syphilis as long as I presented with a clear and obvious pattern of symptoms. But this? Malaise? Non-specific nausea? No other real symptoms? How does one treat such vagueness?
Prescription: water, french fries (o! western food!) and lying under a ceiling fan while watching made for TV movies from 1998.
Blerg indeed.
PS: Ok, I REALLY don't mean it about the syphilis.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
take it with you...
I am on holiday. Blissful, blissful holiday, with snorkelling, sharks, rock climbing, cold beer, hot nights and so much delicious Thai food...
I am still at work. Every night, i close my eyes to see the screen of the Emergency Map; what patients are due to be seen, who are still waiting for test results, what needs to be done now. And while we walk on the beach, I am thinking about how I will stitch our wounds when we cut our feet on broken glass. I am listing the antibiotic regimen for travellers diarrhea (and the red flags associated). I am watching the beautiful people kiss on the dance floor and thinking about the recent increase in syphilis infections worldwide.
It's a weird bliss, but it's mine. Can't change who you are, so I've decided to embrace it; use my knowledge for good. As opposed to my usual "torture my friends with descriptions of their predicted future deaths". Happy times.
I'm going to lie face down now and NOT think about scabies infections.
I am still at work. Every night, i close my eyes to see the screen of the Emergency Map; what patients are due to be seen, who are still waiting for test results, what needs to be done now. And while we walk on the beach, I am thinking about how I will stitch our wounds when we cut our feet on broken glass. I am listing the antibiotic regimen for travellers diarrhea (and the red flags associated). I am watching the beautiful people kiss on the dance floor and thinking about the recent increase in syphilis infections worldwide.
It's a weird bliss, but it's mine. Can't change who you are, so I've decided to embrace it; use my knowledge for good. As opposed to my usual "torture my friends with descriptions of their predicted future deaths". Happy times.
I'm going to lie face down now and NOT think about scabies infections.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Geni's on the Block
In the video, the ABC team review the Australian Censorship Board's approach to female external genitalia and look at how that is affecting the population's perception of what a normal vulva looks like.
Please be warned, the video was broadcast on ABC television, but does contain graphic images of female genitalia and surgical operations.
I think it is an important video to watch. I was appalled to hear the Doctor's description of "improving" genitals. As a Western nation, we condemn cultures that practice genital mutilation; we think it is abhorrent to cut away the outer genitals to make the vagina more "attractive". Yet we also seem to be condoning the practices of this (very shady) plastic surgeon.
Now, I realise that not everyone in Plastics is evil. Some people are out there reconstructing burns and replacing mastectomies and cleaning horrible wounds that ED docs are too scared to touch (thank you Plastics Reg!). This guy just leaves me with the same sinking feeling I get when I hear small breasts described as "malformed".
At what point do we say, "Enough!" If there must be soft porn, let that soft porn show real genitals, not the neat & tidy clefts that the Government deems acceptable.
Please be warned, the video was broadcast on ABC television, but does contain graphic images of female genitalia and surgical operations.
I think it is an important video to watch. I was appalled to hear the Doctor's description of "improving" genitals. As a Western nation, we condemn cultures that practice genital mutilation; we think it is abhorrent to cut away the outer genitals to make the vagina more "attractive". Yet we also seem to be condoning the practices of this (very shady) plastic surgeon.
Now, I realise that not everyone in Plastics is evil. Some people are out there reconstructing burns and replacing mastectomies and cleaning horrible wounds that ED docs are too scared to touch (thank you Plastics Reg!). This guy just leaves me with the same sinking feeling I get when I hear small breasts described as "malformed".
At what point do we say, "Enough!" If there must be soft porn, let that soft porn show real genitals, not the neat & tidy clefts that the Government deems acceptable.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday Night Lights...
Alas. While I still love my job, I am getting less committed to doing it well.
For example, in the first month of my employment, I refused all social engagements that would take place on a "school night". I wouldn't even have a glass of wine at home if I was working the next day. I wanted to keep my edge, to be sharp and ready to shine!
This Thursday I did a day shift (7:30-5:30). My next shift was for Friday, but didn't start till 4pm. What did this responsible, caring member of society do? She went for margaritas. (Admittedly, the best margaritas since Uncle Norman taught me about cointreau.)
Instead of rigorously focusing on the job to come, I went to yoga this morning! I ate brunch! I watched crappy TV for so long that I was almost late for work!
I saw lots of interesting patients tonight (OMG! coca-cola coloured urine!), but I kept letting little things slide. This is ok if you're working at Summer at Saints (worst outcome: lower score in Bejewelled) but less ok if you have a 95 year old woman waiting for blood tests.
Sigh. As I said, I still love my job, but if I want to keep doing it, I've got to learn to stay focused. Stay driven. Stay...oooh! Shiny!
For example, in the first month of my employment, I refused all social engagements that would take place on a "school night". I wouldn't even have a glass of wine at home if I was working the next day. I wanted to keep my edge, to be sharp and ready to shine!
This Thursday I did a day shift (7:30-5:30). My next shift was for Friday, but didn't start till 4pm. What did this responsible, caring member of society do? She went for margaritas. (Admittedly, the best margaritas since Uncle Norman taught me about cointreau.)
Instead of rigorously focusing on the job to come, I went to yoga this morning! I ate brunch! I watched crappy TV for so long that I was almost late for work!
I saw lots of interesting patients tonight (OMG! coca-cola coloured urine!), but I kept letting little things slide. This is ok if you're working at Summer at Saints (worst outcome: lower score in Bejewelled) but less ok if you have a 95 year old woman waiting for blood tests.
Sigh. As I said, I still love my job, but if I want to keep doing it, I've got to learn to stay focused. Stay driven. Stay...oooh! Shiny!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
will to live
We have a frequent flier at St V's; someone who comes in again and again with the same problem. This girl calls the ambulance every few weeks.
When they arrive, she shows them the massive cuts on her arms. She then takes them to the fridge, where she has stored all her blood in jars. In this way, she can tell the paramedics exactly how much blood she has lost.
For a while, everytime she came to ED, they would fill her up with donor blood and send her for psychiatric counselling. Unfortunately, when she has enough blood in her, she feels "too full" and wants to bleed herself again. The hospital was going through all it's O-negative blood on a single patient. There is now a hospital order that we just give her fluids and stitch her up as best we can.
Did I ever say I wanted to do psychiatry? I retract that statement, officially, here.
Emergency is still good. I still enjoy my work, even during crappy, frustrating, sad days like today. This is a good sign.
When they arrive, she shows them the massive cuts on her arms. She then takes them to the fridge, where she has stored all her blood in jars. In this way, she can tell the paramedics exactly how much blood she has lost.
For a while, everytime she came to ED, they would fill her up with donor blood and send her for psychiatric counselling. Unfortunately, when she has enough blood in her, she feels "too full" and wants to bleed herself again. The hospital was going through all it's O-negative blood on a single patient. There is now a hospital order that we just give her fluids and stitch her up as best we can.
Did I ever say I wanted to do psychiatry? I retract that statement, officially, here.
Emergency is still good. I still enjoy my work, even during crappy, frustrating, sad days like today. This is a good sign.
Monday, February 22, 2010
bitch tits
My patient weighs almost 150 kilograms. KILOGRAMS. (2.2 pounds per kilo, people). Because of his extreme BMI, he has developed lymphedema; essentially, a backlog of the fluid that bathes our cells. Trapped fluid gets infected. Infections mean he has to come to hospital, where we try to calculate the dose of an antibiotic for a person who is 1.875 standard people.
Anyways, his wife came in with their darling baby daughter and I had an utter WTF moment. Who marries this man? How did they get pregnant? How does their daughter look at him? Does she see him as a mountain of flesh or just her Dad? He's had 2 previous lap band surgeries and still weighs more than twice me.
If I'm honest, this is not about my patient. There was an article in the paper for Valentines Day that said women who are still single past 25 are probably too picky and are doomed to a life alone. I look at people like my patient and I wonder if I'm too superficial.
Maybe there's a wonderful 100kg man out there who will be the father of my children, my best friend and apple of my eye.
Or maybe I'd rather be alone than share a bed with someone who suffocates in his sleep under the weight of his neck rolls.
Bah. Forgive me. Canada's hockey loss has put me in a foul mood. Well, that and the fatty.
Anyways, his wife came in with their darling baby daughter and I had an utter WTF moment. Who marries this man? How did they get pregnant? How does their daughter look at him? Does she see him as a mountain of flesh or just her Dad? He's had 2 previous lap band surgeries and still weighs more than twice me.
If I'm honest, this is not about my patient. There was an article in the paper for Valentines Day that said women who are still single past 25 are probably too picky and are doomed to a life alone. I look at people like my patient and I wonder if I'm too superficial.
Maybe there's a wonderful 100kg man out there who will be the father of my children, my best friend and apple of my eye.
Or maybe I'd rather be alone than share a bed with someone who suffocates in his sleep under the weight of his neck rolls.
Bah. Forgive me. Canada's hockey loss has put me in a foul mood. Well, that and the fatty.
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