tiny rant

According to the internet, books, friends and my mother in law, I'm doing everything wrong when it comes to my baby.

This doesn't particularly bother me (today) as Bub is growing well, feeding well, sleeping occasionally and appears happy. However, I've been finding the trends of what I'm doing wrong interesting to map.

1. I'm coddling/spoiling the baby.
- this is mostly from older folks; my parents, friends of ours with older kids etc. They feel that a 3 month old infant should not be in charge of her own schedule, that I should ruthlessly dictate her waking, sleeping and eating. Which I would love to do! Honestly! But, as she is 3 months old, she is essentially a brainstem, capable only of reacting to stimulus. Hence, she cries when hungry, sleeps when sleepy and wakes when...you get the picture.

2. I'm abandoning/abusing the baby.
- Hippie friends, midwife friends, ladies on the street (who flip flop between one and two) all agree; if the baby is not on me every minute, being sung to and nursed and rocked, then I am failing as a mother. Most of these people do not have kids. They don't have to negotiate alone-time in the bathroom.

3. I'm taking too much time off work.
- This comes from my medical friends, and also from my own guilty, pulsating brain. I will have been off work for almost a year by the time I go back. During that time my peers have worked, passed exams, started jobs and saved lives. And earned money. And used their brains. My brain is currently fixated on learning baby sign language and plowing through the West Wing again.

4. I'm not taking enough time off work.
- My partners male friends are unanimous on this one; as I am only taking 6 months of mat leave (the other 6 months were "my pregnancy is killing me" leave) I am a bad mother. One of Mr G's lovely friends, who is otherwise a very feminist seeming person, actually recoiled and said, "But what about the baby? It needs a mother!" on hearing my plans.

Other things have come up randomly - my sister in law suggested I was giving the baby hip dysplasia cos I was using a Baby Bjorn (false). She also suggested that giving my baby tylenol was immoral (yeah, she's an idiot). I heard that I needed to get back to the gym ASAP to "get that weight off and feel like yourself". I've heard I should be studying more, or studying less and working sneaky shifts once a week to keep my hand in. I've heard I should move to Manitoba to take advantage of the reasonably priced child care.

The creme de la creme came yesterday. I have yet to unsubscribe from "Fit Pregnancy", a magazine that was full of tips on how to exercise and eat well and look good in preggo pants. They sent me an email simply titled, "Talking to your Baby; you're doing it wrong".

And with that, I quit.

I will listen to no one.

I am going to stay in my undies, eating peanut butter toast and feeding the baby when she cries. I will watch the rest of the West Wing and occasional lectures on left ventricular aneurysms. I will go back to work in March and I will love every minute of it. I will be totally happy to come home and see my family.

Done and done.