A whole new world...

Alas, I have returned. Melbourne is lovely tonight, cold and crisp and moonlit, but I am moping. I am struggling with having to wear close-toed shoes, sensible shirts and most of all, pants. Down with pants!

That said, my current job is keeping me on my toes. I am the "relieving" intern, meaning I cover shifts that other people can't do (eg: if they call in sick). When there is no shift to cover, I get to help the anaesthetists in theatre. Monday morning, I was supposed to start at 11:30am in anaesthetics. However, as it was my first day back, I thought I'd check in with the hospital to make sure. At 8am, I rolled over in bed and rang the co-ordinator.

"Hi, this is Sam, I'm relieving today at..."
"O, great! Are you in the hospital now? Cos we need you to cover gen med."
"...um...no...I'm not at the hospital..."
"How soon can you be here?"

Which is how I ended up eating cold pizza on the tram at 8:09, un-showered and still wearing my pajama top under my sensible blouse. Worked from 8:23 (boo-ya!) till 6:20 that night and then went home to crash. Day one of relieving...

Day two has been more civilized. Anaesthetists like to talk and I'm a good listener, so I was regaled with footy tips, tales of bad doctors past and helpful hints on how to get a tube into someone's windpipe.

Awesome, right? Plus, wearing scrubs is the closest you can get to not wearing pants in a professional arena. I just need everyone to stay healthy this week. Vitamin C all around!

heal thyself?

Blerg. Last day in Thailand. I am supposed to be reclining under the firm yet tender hands of a Thai masseuse, having my pending-work-anxiety beaten out of me. Instead, my stomach rolls with every change in posture. I am pale, sweating, pained...AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!

This is possibly the most annoying day of my life. If I could say confidently, "Oh, it's a traveller's sickness", I would be ok with that. Food poisoning. Malarial infestation. Hell, I'd even take syphilis as long as I presented with a clear and obvious pattern of symptoms. But this? Malaise? Non-specific nausea? No other real symptoms? How does one treat such vagueness?

Prescription: water, french fries (o! western food!) and lying under a ceiling fan while watching made for TV movies from 1998.
Blerg indeed.

PS: Ok, I REALLY don't mean it about the syphilis.

take it with you...

I am on holiday. Blissful, blissful holiday, with snorkelling, sharks, rock climbing, cold beer, hot nights and so much delicious Thai food...

I am still at work. Every night, i close my eyes to see the screen of the Emergency Map; what patients are due to be seen, who are still waiting for test results, what needs to be done now. And while we walk on the beach, I am thinking about how I will stitch our wounds when we cut our feet on broken glass. I am listing the antibiotic regimen for travellers diarrhea (and the red flags associated). I am watching the beautiful people kiss on the dance floor and thinking about the recent increase in syphilis infections worldwide.

It's a weird bliss, but it's mine. Can't change who you are, so I've decided to embrace it; use my knowledge for good. As opposed to my usual "torture my friends with descriptions of their predicted future deaths". Happy times.

I'm going to lie face down now and NOT think about scabies infections.

Geni's on the Block

In the video, the ABC team review the Australian Censorship Board's approach to female external genitalia and look at how that is affecting the population's perception of what a normal vulva looks like.

Please be warned, the video was broadcast on ABC television, but does contain graphic images of female genitalia and surgical operations.



I think it is an important video to watch. I was appalled to hear the Doctor's description of "improving" genitals. As a Western nation, we condemn cultures that practice genital mutilation; we think it is abhorrent to cut away the outer genitals to make the vagina more "attractive". Yet we also seem to be condoning the practices of this (very shady) plastic surgeon.

Now, I realise that not everyone in Plastics is evil. Some people are out there reconstructing burns and replacing mastectomies and cleaning horrible wounds that ED docs are too scared to touch (thank you Plastics Reg!). This guy just leaves me with the same sinking feeling I get when I hear small breasts described as "malformed".

At what point do we say, "Enough!" If there must be soft porn, let that soft porn show real genitals, not the neat & tidy clefts that the Government deems acceptable.

Friday Night Lights...

Alas. While I still love my job, I am getting less committed to doing it well.

For example, in the first month of my employment, I refused all social engagements that would take place on a "school night". I wouldn't even have a glass of wine at home if I was working the next day. I wanted to keep my edge, to be sharp and ready to shine!

This Thursday I did a day shift (7:30-5:30). My next shift was for Friday, but didn't start till 4pm. What did this responsible, caring member of society do? She went for margaritas. (Admittedly, the best margaritas since Uncle Norman taught me about cointreau.)

Instead of rigorously focusing on the job to come, I went to yoga this morning! I ate brunch! I watched crappy TV for so long that I was almost late for work!

I saw lots of interesting patients tonight (OMG! coca-cola coloured urine!), but I kept letting little things slide. This is ok if you're working at Summer at Saints (worst outcome: lower score in Bejewelled) but less ok if you have a 95 year old woman waiting for blood tests.

Sigh. As I said, I still love my job, but if I want to keep doing it, I've got to learn to stay focused. Stay driven. Stay...oooh! Shiny!