em-pathetic

There is a huge and fascinating article in today's Globe & Mail about empathy. It's loosely focused on the recent tragedy in Norway and explores the idea that "evil" in people can actually be attributed to a lack of empathy.

The researchers interviewed discuss situations where people (and animals) display a lack of empathy; chronically, such as in people with Autism, or acutely, in the case of torture or murder.

I have previously gone on record saying that my clinical medical skills improved when I learned to suppress my empathy.

As a medical student, I had trouble placing drips (IV's). I would wince as the patient winced. I would break into a sweat, fumbling, jostling the tip and carving up their delicate vessels. Then I'd have to find another vein, and repeat ad nauseum.

When I learned to shut my empathy down, I found I could treat the vein as an isolated problem. Yes, I can hear someone wailing and moaning and carrying on, but I just have to slide this needle into this tube and get some red stuff. Smooth as. No worries.

In the article, they talk about people who can spontaneously shut off their empathy in morally difficult situations. These people are sociopaths.

Luckily, in family medicine, I rarely do procedural stuff.

I do, however, hear about 20 sad stories a day. Some things are horrifying; surprise pregnancy with a side of surprise HIV, domestic violence, sudden death and disease. Some things are less extreme, but just as devastating for the people going through them. I ended up comforting a jilted lover for 40 minutes as they sobbed into my tissue box. (Your tax dollars at work.)

Here, at week four, I have run out of empathy.

Not at work - I have an endless supply of sympathetic nods, heartfelt sighs and respectful, supportive, asexual shoulder pats.

My lack is coming through at home. I don't give a shit.

Worried about your career trajectory? I could care less! Your haircut doesn't flatter you? Suck it up! You're just not sure if he likes you enough? Blow me! And that's just self-talk. My friends get it worse.

I read the article thoroughly, looking for people who get empathy-depleted. Not a sociopath, not yet Autistic. I wanted to know that burn-out doesn't necessarily lead to mass murder. Alas, I couldn't find anything to soothe.

In order to get my empathy back, I'm going to watch kitten DJ's all night. People can be harsh, but kittens never let you down...

Three Oh.

Officially old. But not, unfortunately, mature.

I am truly grateful that every year my life gets better and better. When I'm 95 (Happy Birthday Gran!) I will be having more fun than is physically possible. I can just feel it.

Time to dance!




En espagnol!

Love!

Monday is the worst day, right?
Not so! Not if you're living the dream that is family medicine.

On paper, it was a typically crappy medical day:
8 -12: "Evidence based medicine" (eg: reading journal articles aloud to each other) followed by "Behavioural medicine" (eg: social worker reading journal articles to us).

1-5: Clinic (eg: poking sick people & their icky parts)

5-9am: Call (eg: pager panic)

BUT in reality:

8-10: Immunization Trivial Pursuit
Seriously. Our program director (and head of U of T family med) actually made a Trivial Pursuit board game with questions about various vaccines. I believe the green was Diptheria, blue was Hepatitis and orange Varicella. I learned a tremendous amount, though I couldn't shake my craving for a G&T and some Pender sunshine.

10-12: Social work articles? Nope! Parenting lessons! And thanks to my father's professional tutelage, I had all the answers.

This relates to the time Dad asked brother & me to make a powerpoint on parenting for his students. As we turned his notes into slides, we exchanged worried glances. "Time outs? Neutral language? Psychological discipline? We've been parented!"

1-5: Clinic! Transgendered alcoholics begging for rehab! Tiny kids with sore ears! Swabs for lesbians with cheating lovers! Medical marijuana for HIV positive old dudes!

And as for call...

As of 10pm, I have taken some pages, answered some questions and done some reading. All from the comfort of my own home. With take-out tacos. In my undies. (34 degrees here).

I love my job.