rite of passage

I stand over the ironing board, steam curling up into my eyes. I am thinking about yesterdays shift. Specifically, the moment when the nurse taking an ECG on my patient said, "He's in VT."

I have been trained for this scenario over and over. Vincent, our state-of-the-art mechanical patient, goes into VT all the time. I know what to do when Vincent goes into VT.

Call for help.
Oxygen on.
2 large IV access points established, fast.
Paddles on.
Read the rhythm again. Still VT? Shock.

etc etc

When Mr Smith went into VT, I froze. Luckily, no one else did. The nurses around me flew into action like the proverbial well-oiled machine. Within minutes lines were in, aspirin given, oxygen on, the paddles were tracking his heart and we watched as he flipped from runs of VT to bradycardia...

It was my first real emergency. Next time, I'm hoping to actually participate in the code. By my 25th time, I'm hoping it will feel natural.

As the steam rises up and I burn my shirt, I am re-living that sick feeling of panic. I no longer have nightmares about ex-boyfriends. One week in the ED brings a whole new set of nightmares.

That said, I have a beautiful new bed in which to have said nightmares, so being a working Doc isn't all bad. More tales to follow - ask me about the chick on LSD.