Show, don't tell...

Last night, a kid came into ER. He had sand in his eye. His eye was irritated, red and leaking thick tears. He was not a happy chappy.

Part of our standard eye exam is to put drops into the eyes to make them numb. They also dye the eye yellow, so we can see any scratches in the surface of the eye. They (allegedly) sting a bit, but most people tolerate them fine.

This kid had already had his parents squirting water in his eye and the teachers at school trying to flush him out, so he was understandably nervous about the drops.

I decided to try and make him feel comfortable.

"Look!" I said. "I can put the drops in my eye to show you it doesn't hurt!"

I stood up, tilted my head back and opened my eyes wide. A single drop of yellow dye hit the surface of my cornea with a splash.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*K", I thought.
"Oh holy sh*t this burns with an unholy fire!", I thought.
"Owowowowowow", I thought.

I stood totally still. Rigid, even. I couldn't move a muscle or the kid would know how bad it hurt.
"See?" I said. My face with a rictus smile. "Not so bad!"

The kid looked at me with total suspicion, but submitted to his drops. He bounced up after they were placed. "That was fine!"

As for me, I had yellow snotty-looking dye leaking from my eye for the rest of the night. Every patient I saw leaned away from me during exams and one little girl burst into tears when I walked into the room.

Good with kids? You bet.