theme song

Sometimes we can take ourselves too seriously.

It's easy to get swept up. "I'm a Doctor. I'm doing BIG THINGS. Lives are in MY hands. Blah di blah di blah."

Especially at St Mike's, where we specialize in dealing with marginalized populations; "I work with HIV patients".
"Well, I work with homeless people".
"And I work with people who are both..."

It gets competitive.

It also gets a bit wearing. The responsibility feels too big. The decisions you make feel crucial AND pointless. You get burned out.

Luckily, there's Seaton House. Toronto's largest shelter for men. They let us come in three times a week and we try to do some work. Right now, there are 4 residents and rotating medical students. We residents are all female.

One of us (V) looks like Sophia Loren, wears designer clothing and hates every second that she spends in the infirmary.
One of us (A) has adopted a supercilious attitude (see above) and likes to talk to her patients in what we've come to call "the Mom voice".
One of us (M) is chronically late, loud, inappropriate and (obviously) all her patients adore her. And there's me (S). Deeply cynical, easily annoyed and struggling with my control issues.
We are caricatures.

It got to the point where one of the medical students suggested we write a sitcom about our experiences. "5 girls" was born from a theme song and a snide comment but it has taken on a life of it's own.

Upcoming episodes:
- the one where M realizes she's had glass in her foot for 3 weeks and S tries to take it out without her noticing.
- the one where S finds out her "HIV+" patient isn't
- the one with the cockroach (hilarity ensues)
- the one where V loses it and refuses to see any patients all week
- the one where our supervising doctor reveals that he lives in a commune and has bedbugs

Each episode is punctuated with sassy repartee and girlish gossip.

Plus! The patients! These gentleman alternate between amused and horrified with their treating doctors (fun with racism!). They sometimes disappear on crack binges and don't take their ARVs. They sometimes try to hit on their doctors.

A running gag features the girls trying to work without sitting on any of the chairs (this following "the one where the guy lets his penile discharge drain onto the chair").

Every episode closes with the girls at their favourite sandwich joint or coffee shop, laughing and bonding over their shared experience.

Now, when things get out of hand (when you see the bed bugs, when the rash flakes onto your jeans, when your patient tries to steal your watch) you just turn to the camera, give a cheery smile and sing....

"Fiiiive giiiirls, working at Seaton House!"