Consequences...

A 13 year old was brought to ER by his mother with flu symptoms. I assessed him, determined that there were no signs of bacterial infection and gave them my spiel about rest, fluids and over the counter analgesia. Mother seemed happy. Son seemed fine.

As I turned to leave the consult room, the mother stopped me.

"Doctor, I have another question. Just a quick one. When should my son's foreskin fully pull back?"

I paused.

Trying not to look at his mother at all, I asked him the key questions; can he pee without foreskin ballooning? Has he had any infections under the foreskin? Does it ever get stuck in the retracted position?

He stared firmly over my shoulder. Yes. No. No.

"But what we can do about it? Does he have to have a surgery?"

"Well, ma'am. As long as there are no side effects, it can be normal for the foreskin to remain tight until even as old as age 17. The recommended way to "loosen" it is to continually retract and replace it, which most young guys end up doing a lot during adolescence."

I am now looking firmly at the mother, but I can FEEL the blush running up this kid's body. She says, "What can I do to help?"

"Well, a good quality moisturiser could help with the friction..."

This poor kid. His mother and a lady doctor discussing optimal masturbation technique. I bet he ends up deeply scarred and only able to ejaculate while eating an orange out of a paper Whole Foods bag.

I was only trying to help.