I am drunk with power! (And not, alas, just drunk)
Why? I have no bosses today!
For those unfamiliar with Australian country hospital daily operations; Every morning all the doctors meet in the ICU for a ward round. Then we split into our medical teams; A senior boss (consultant), a junior boss (registrar) and me (pig-spit). The bosses review the patients, create their care plans and alter their medications. I follow them around, frantically writing down whatever they say and trying to deflect nursing questions until the round is done.
This is often unsuccessful, and I have actually written down "Can patient have tea?" into the middle of a care plan.
Today, my registrar has a day off. My boss is away at another hospital. I did the ward round all by myself. I was excited - I could take as much time as I wanted, make sure all my questions were addressed, look up drug doses instead of guessing randomly...
But, since I have no power, knowledge or expertise, it went like this:
Sam: Hello patient! How are you feeling today?
Pt: Stone the crows! Crook-as, love.
Sam:...uh, right...
Pt: Crikey! I spewed this morning, but I'm feeling a bit better now.
Sam: Oh, good?
Pt: So, what's the plan?
Sam: (backing from room slowly)
Sadly, I have no idea what the plan is. Or indeed, whether this patient can go home, should stay, needs stronger medication for his heart rate. So I smile, duck out of the room and hide in the library. Where I write my blog.
The pinnacle of my career, yes? Maybe not.
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