Why I hate people.

At 7pm tonight, I got a page from the post-partum nursing station.

"We've got a patient here; baby is 48 hours old, has a bilirubin of 185. GBS-, term baby, normal delivery, no risk factors. We were going to send them home, but Mum is really worried that the bilirubin is going up."

Me: Ok, I'll go talk to them.
Nurse: Um...they want to know what the plan is...
Me: Ok. I'll send them home tonight, but ask them to come back for a repeat blood test in the morning, just to make sure.
Nurse: So...you agree that they should go home?

That should have been my first red flag.

I discussed the case with my staff pediatrician. He agreed - the baby did not need treatment, but should return tomorrow for a repeat blood test.

I walked into the patient's room, pleasant and smiling, ready to tell them the good news.

Me; "Good news! Your baby is well. She doesn't need treatment. You can go home tonight!"

All hell broke loose.

In the room I had 2 sets of grandparents, a crazed post-partum mother and a small (apparently inconsequential) baby. All of them, except the baby, started yelling at me.

"We can't leave. It's 7 o'clock at night and we live in Scarborough!"
"This baby is sick, you said we had to come back tomorrow anyways, how can you make us leave?"
"What do you mean the baby is well? She is turning yellow!"

Ah, I thought. These people are worried about their baby. I will give them reassurance.

Me: Your baby is actually ok. It is very normal for babies to have some level of jaundice in the first days of life. Her level is not dangerous.

"How can that be true? She is turning yellow!"
"My daughter had jaundice too! I know what this is! She's sick"
"Even if she's fine, what if she's not fine tomorrow, you can't tell us to leave!"
"It'll take us 2 hours to pack up all our stuff and we didn't bring a car seat!"
" We were told we could stay until 11 am tomorrow!"

Ah, I thought. These people don't understand jaundice. I was about to start explaining when...

Grandfather: "It's snowing out. You want us to take this sick baby out in the snow, then put her in the car when you don't know what could happen to us on the road?"
Grandma 1: "I just want you to hear what I'm saying, we want to stay till tomorrow because it's going to be very annoying for us to go all the way home tonight and come all the way back tomorrow".
Grandma 2: "The baby has jaundice, the numbers have gone up. You said it yourself. You said the baby is sick."

Ah, I thought. These people are ignorant fucktards, and I would be doing the baby a favor if I gave her to a pack of wolves to be raised.

I kept trying to explain, but everything I said was ignored. Finally, I said, "This baby does not need treatment tonight. She is well. Her numbers are not in the dangerous range and so she is safe to go home."

Grandma 2: "I don't believe you. I want a second opinion and another doctor. A real doctor."

At this point I excused myself from the room. I took a deep breath.

When I came back in to tell them they could have what they want, I didn't expect gratitude. And my expectations were way too high:

"You know, you are the reason people complain about the human face of healthcare."
"It's not personal, we respect you as a doctor, but you have to know that we're right..."

This is the edited version. The actual event took about 2 hours. On the plus side, I made 8 dollars.

Lord.
Just 11 hours of this shit to go. (I wrote shift, but I believe my typo speaks the truth).