the fear

I don't want to alarm you, but something could go horribly wrong any minute now.

Rehab is the source of my boredom AND my anxiety now - we have three young patients (well, 40-50) who have had spontaneous brain bleeds of varying types.

It chills me to write up their admission paperwork.

Previous medical history: None/migraines/broken wrist
Drug & Alcohol: Non-smoker, social drinker, smoked pot once in '83
Family history: Nil
Lifestyle: architect/marathoner/stay at home dad (2 kids under 5)
Presents with: Acute onset headache, nausea, vomiting, coma.

They are being taught how to use a spoon again.

The stuff that comes up with these patients is completely different from the issues oldies face. For example, high-level care facilities (nursing homes) do not take patients under 60. These people have young kids who don't understand why Daddy doesn't recognize them. As opposed to the gentle-stroke-compounding-previous-senile-degeneration, these people are going from black to white in a day.

Some people would approach this information with optimism. They would say, "There but for the grace of God", "I am thankful for my blessings", "I must live life to the fullest".

Obviously, I take another tack.

I am insuring myself against EVERY possible outcome. Income protection, health insurance, life insurance, upping my insane vitamin intake, exercise twice a day, social time, quiet time, more greens, less meat, goji berries, blah di blah di blah.

According to Strictly Ballroom, a life lived in fear is a life half-lived. According to Rehab, it doesn't matter what you do, so you might as well prepare for the worst.

Thank goodness it's Spring here - sunshine and pretty dresses help ease the fear.