Lions have massive paws. An adult lion will use it's paw to kill prey - no teeth, no claws, just a powerful swipe that kills an impala in a single blow.
Why do I mention this?
Buddy has been making "paw strike" motions every time the nurses ask us dumb questions.
The nurse unit manager ("Hulk" or "Eggplant" depending on her attire) is a particularly egregious offender.
EG: Our patient has a pulmonary embolus, a blood clot in his lung, that has the potential to kill him. Not like, "one day we all must die", but "chest pain, O2 sats drop, heart stops, RIP". We asked if the nursing staff could take the patient's stats four times a day, in order to keep an eye on him.
"Does we have to?" Hulk asked. "Cos that's a lot of extra work..."
Before my eyeballs exploded with indignation, Adge made a quick paw strike gesture behind Hulk's back. I snorted, and my rage dissipated.
Problem solved. The foolish Impala is left to bleed on the Serengeti, leaving the herd stronger and me less annoyed.
Other paw strike moments?
"The patient just opened his bowels after 6 days of constipation. Would you like to inspect the motion?"
"I know you ordered the blood test for 6am, but I had my tea break then, so is it ok if we do it now (10am)?"
"We've given the patient a double dose of his heart-slowing medication for the last three days; can you change the documentation so we don't get in trouble?"
The rehab plains will soon be strewn with fallen prey, but I bet the patients (and I) will have longer, happier lives as a result.
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here i thought it only happens in philippine government-owned and managed hospitals. nurses can be huge pains in the ass sometimes, especially the matronly ones.
ReplyDeleteToo funny - I could almost see the steam coming out of your ears! P
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